Be Nice to People

I have to work at being nice to people. Not being perfect, it’s a way to feel better about oneself. (My self-esteem issues are part of my character defects, still in progress.)

We are all broken. Wounded. Hurting. Whether we admit it or not. Or even care or not. It’s there – the broken part of us that partially defines us, haunts us, mocks us. Our insecurity and shortcomings. The part of us we wish we could hide.

This Post is Not About Our Hurts
The list above – the yuck we carry around – it can get overwhelming and Self-focused. But put that aside for a minute – this is not about us. No, instead it’s all about Them.

The folks we see in the hallway, on the street, in cars as we pass them by (or are passed by them), at the park, in the aisles of the store. Those all around us. They are hurting too, just like you and I. Quite possibly, even worse than anything we’ve ever had to think about or deal with or work through.

Yet we – or maybe I – wouldn’t think twice about criticizing the way a person laughs or walks or talks or looks or hang out with so-and-so or does whatever for a living or are plain just not me.

Pretty sad. (Sorry, God – but thanks for your mercy, forgiveness and grace.)

It’s at those times I pause and think (am trying to do more anyway): “What if this person is hurting just like me, or worse? What if God is trying to work on this person, save him or her, show Himself to this person I’ve just “cast aside” so carelessly?”

Ew. Sigh.

So.. now I’m trying to catch myself before I get to far down my thought patterns. Unnecessarily thoughtless and inconsiderate. But I’m trying to change that. And it’s helpful to think these things through. I am making progress.

What if those other people need a little Grace today? What if someone needs a little Mercy? Or understanding? Or peace? Or hope? Or joy?

In other words… what if I’m standing in front of them?

And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.
— Colossians 3:17

I have the power to change them for good. Help them, save them, protect them, shelter them. And so do you.

I’m seeing differently.

🙂

Stop Living Like You’re Missing Out

You know, I think of myself as a good guy. And maybe even a good Christian. And yet I have to ask myself What are you doing? What are you about?

Unfortunately, I don’t always know the answer to that question. I could say I’m all about my family and all about my God and all about my work, etc. – fill in the blank. And, probably, a portion of what I’m saying would be true. I am all about those things and more, but is there anything left? Is there anything I’ve held back?

Stop living like you’re missing out.

My reaction: Ew, what was that? God was right. And I was agreeing with him. Part of me was. Part of me desperately longed for Him to be right and therefor for the housecleaning that God would encourage for me to have follow.

This is huge to me. And something I didn’t really know how to put words to. I’d felt these sorts of feelings. Had these sorts of thoughts. But I couldn’t put into words the feeling or emotion or posture of my heart. But God could – and now I am able to ackowledge and process through this stumbling block in my life.

What does it mean to living a life “like you’re missing out”? I looks like non-commitment. A little bit like entitlement. It lacks trust. It wonders and dreams about things it shouldn’t wonder or dream about. It’s hardly thankful or only partially thankful. It lives two lives, or mostly one life and preparing for a second life. It’s not “here”, but “there” – where the grass is greener, the sky bluer and the weather nicer. It chases a life and worldview that doesn’t exist.

Ew.

That’s a lot of not very nice stuff. And all of that was/is in me (I’m at the early stages of processing this all, starting the journey last night on the way home from work). I’m not finished yet. And am so thankful and blessed to be able to say that.

What does it look like to stop living this way? It looks like maturity. Like becoming serious about life and the state of your life. It’s about not having the wool pulled over your eyes. It’s about knowing what’s really important. It’s about being thankful. It’s about seeing life as a gift and a blessing – something to enjoy, not “survive through”. It’s about seeing value in everything: life, time, people, work, travel, snow, wind, etc.

It’s really about being free. No more trying to balance between the “have” and the “have not” in our lives – it’s about freely enjoying the life – all of it, every dark corner, every tough challenge, all of it – with joy and vigor. Hm, “joy” – maybe that’s what this is.

It’s a journey, but I’m so blessed to have God helping me with this. Praise, God.

Fail Like It’s a New Year

And I’m not talking about New Year’s Resolutions and being oh so dramatic.

I recently saw a funny post about having resolutions you could actually keep. And most of them were fairly lame, everyday encounters with life that most of us would keep anyway. But the “joke” was in that having a low bar made it so much easier a pill to swallow because of the low expectations.

What if we could dream (ah-ha) and still live free of failure (ah-ha)? What if we didn’t have to be governed by the “checks” on our “checklist” but rather had a giant safety net for when we didn’t quite make it – would that change how we made goals and planned for the future? What would 2014 look like?

Are you ready to fail and not care if you fail?

Okay… so before we get all dreamy-eyed and blue-skied… let me first say that I’ve dropped the ball on some fantastic goals. Last year, a church I attend had a great planning and life goal setting event. Which was awesome. And, at the event, I had some great realizations and goals. Great things to get accomplished for myself, for me as a parent, me as a minister of God (which we all – Christians – are, by the way), me as a husband, etc. This was all great – here’s some key info I learned at the day-long event:

1. Think about Areas of Your Life you want to Improve
2. Write out a vision of what you want the Areas of Your Life to look like in 15 years (more time out, than less)
3. Break down how that vision can become a reality through small steps, small investments
4. Put things on your calendar that make you (force you) to go through with your executing your plan
5. Realize your dreams!

Okay, so that’s all good and dandy. But for me, I never got to the calendar. I wanted to, I really did. I wanted to see all the change I’d been “visioning” for me and those around me. But I never made it to the calendar.

And what followed, do you think?

You probably guessed it, feeling bad. Feeling bad all year… I missed January, then February and March, etc. It wasn’t a huge “you really stink!” sort of a bad feeling, but more of a disappointment with myself. Some of that emotion/discomfort can be good. But being buried by it isn’t.

No one wants to be fear motivated, even if it looks like it works. Is that really the Gospel? Change or die? (That’s a joke, by the way.)

I think God’s way is different. Christ’s way is simpler:

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
— Matthew 11:28-30

Sounds too good to be true? Maybe that’s just what we need this year.

Maybe that’s what my 2014 needs a little more of.

(Make This Your) Best. Year. Ever.

For me, “Best. Year. Ever.” means moving forward, overcoming shortcomings in my life, growing closer to God and learning to put others before myself. Pretty simple stuff, right?

Create in Me a Clean Heart

Have you ever had God do what David asks for in Psalm 51?

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
— Psalm 51:10

I remember it well.

Just Showing Up

I’ve been circling this thing for a while now. And I love the thought of it.

The power of the Christian in the world largely has to do with just showing up. That’s it. Just showing up. Wear a big nametag that says “CHRISTIAN” and that’s it. Just being there – and not even in some deep way, philisophical way, necessarily. You don’t have to have all the answers, or have your own life all together or any of that “good enough” stuff. You just have to show up. Just physically go there.

Easter Aftermath: The Eastermath

Do you remember Easter? That holiday that so much of the world celebrated – whether with bunnies and chocolate or with flowers and “spring things” or even with Christ and the Resurrection – do you remember? Like it was yesterday?

Doing the Right Thing for God. Without a Parade

The world pushes for acclimation when something great happens. Every great sporting event climaxes with celebration and flair – the players themselves esteemed as marvels in their current day and age for having made it this far.

If you pause to think, it’s probably easy to come up with a few examples which I’m referring to. How does God work? And how does He want us to work?

Jonah and the Giant Self Centered Culture

The book of Jonah is one of a kind. There’s a prophet who runs from God. There’s a giant fish. There’s the reluctant-prophet-who-finally-does-God’s will prophet. It’s exciting to read and a short read too.

Have you ever thought what this book is actually trying to teach? Is there more to this story than the fish? I’m betting there is.

Walking with God Means Crazy Change

When God asked Moses to lead his people out of Israel, Moses was not ready for the challenge. And came up with as many reasons as he could to not do what God wanted to do. Would it have been possible for Moses to follow God, leading the people of Israel out of Egypt and remain a shepherd with Jethro?