Posts Tagged ‘healer of the heart’

You know, I think of myself as a good guy. And maybe even a good Christian. And yet I have to ask myself What are you doing? What are you about?

Unfortunately, I don’t always know the answer to that question. I could say I’m all about my family and all about my God and all about my work, etc. – fill in the blank. And, probably, a portion of what I’m saying would be true. I am all about those things and more, but is there anything left? Is there anything I’ve held back?

Stop living like you’re missing out.

My reaction: Ew, what was that? God was right. And I was agreeing with him. Part of me was. Part of me desperately longed for Him to be right and therefor for the housecleaning that God would encourage for me to have follow.

This is huge to me. And something I didn’t really know how to put words to. I’d felt these sorts of feelings. Had these sorts of thoughts. But I couldn’t put into words the feeling or emotion or posture of my heart. But God could – and now I am able to ackowledge and process through this stumbling block in my life.

What does it mean to living a life “like you’re missing out”? I looks like non-commitment. A little bit like entitlement. It lacks trust. It wonders and dreams about things it shouldn’t wonder or dream about. It’s hardly thankful or only partially thankful. It lives two lives, or mostly one life and preparing for a second life. It’s not “here”, but “there” – where the grass is greener, the sky bluer and the weather nicer. It chases a life and worldview that doesn’t exist.

Ew.

That’s a lot of not very nice stuff. And all of that was/is in me (I’m at the early stages of processing this all, starting the journey last night on the way home from work). I’m not finished yet. And am so thankful and blessed to be able to say that.

What does it look like to stop living this way? It looks like maturity. Like becoming serious about life and the state of your life. It’s about not having the wool pulled over your eyes. It’s about knowing what’s really important. It’s about being thankful. It’s about seeing life as a gift and a blessing – something to enjoy, not “survive through”. It’s about seeing value in everything: life, time, people, work, travel, snow, wind, etc.

It’s really about being free. No more trying to balance between the “have” and the “have not” in our lives – it’s about freely enjoying the life – all of it, every dark corner, every tough challenge, all of it – with joy and vigor. Hm, “joy” – maybe that’s what this is.

It’s a journey, but I’m so blessed to have God helping me with this. Praise, God.